I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
