So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
