She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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