I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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