i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize