I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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