am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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