For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
