After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
