Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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