Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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