yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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