he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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