I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sober January is a disaster.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
