He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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