Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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