Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
