It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
