belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
