i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
