Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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