8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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