My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
