I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
