see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
