help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
