Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
