Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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