Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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