their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
