I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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