My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
