yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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