I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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