So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
