i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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