can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
