you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize