You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
