from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
