Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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