How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
