i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
MIDGETS
????
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
