I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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