yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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