We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
