Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
