im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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