So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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