Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
