Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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