So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
