Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
