i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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