i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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