first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
