idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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